Experiences

This week has been very busy. I have had the privilege of singing in 3 concerts and I have another one this afternoon. I sing as an alto in the Nashville Symphony Chorus and we had rehearsals and performances for Handel's Messiah this week under the direction of British conductor Matthew Halls. It is actually the first time I have ever sung Messiah in its fullness. We used to do the Hallelujah Chorus every year when I was in high school but that's it. It was such an incredible experience. The music wasn't even the best part. The best part was getting to work with such an amazingly talented conductor and musicians. The symphony was smaller than normal. More a chamber orchestra. But we did our full chorus which is somewhere around 200 singers. Sitting on the stage at the Schermerhorn Symphony Center and participating in such an event is truly a highlight of my holiday season this year and of my life. I love singing in this chorus. It has made me stretch my musical muscles which has been somewhat dormant for a few years what with moving to Nashville and having 2 kids. I have an excuse to get out of the house at least once a week, (we rehearse on Monday evenings), and interact with other adults. It really is a great outlet for me. I can forget my stress and really just enjoy and challenge myself. What a blessing! 

This is outside the Schermerhorn the other night after our concert. 

Another group that I participate in is the Nashville Belles. We are an all-female a Capella group. We perform classic and jazzy a Capella pieces around Nashville. We sing at assisted loving homes and the library and anywhere else we possibly can. Including the Sounds baseball game National Anthem. I randomly met a fabulously talented mom named Christina Watson at the park one day and we got to chatting. Found out she was a singer and teacher and we talked about music. I told her I sang in the symphony chorus.  We found each other on Facebook and a few weeks later she posted about openings in her group that she conducts, the Belles. I told her I was very interested as a Capella has always been one of my favorite things to sing. That was back in March and I have been singing with them ever since. It is so fun! The ladies are all so welcoming and happy to have more people. We meet once a week on Sunday afternoons to rehearse. It's really great. 

Well, last night I skipped out on the Messiah performance so I could participate in the Belles Christmas concert. Christina's husband is Swedish. And she had the idea to put on a traditional Sankta Lucia Christmas concert for the Swedish-American families in Nashville. There are a large amount of them. So we partnered with the First Lutheran Church downtown and did a lot of traditional Swedish Christmas music. It was so amazing to see the Christmas traditions of a completely different culture. We invited anyone who wanted to come sing with is to do so as they all know the music from singing it while growing up. Quite a few people participated and the church had a great turnout. We were all standing there with lit candles and singing Stille Nat or Silent Night in Swedish. I got emotional just really realizing how the spirit of love and of Christ really transcends language and speech. What a blessing to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ and to have an extra reason to celebrate Him and His life each year. I was also touched by how grateful all of the Swedish families were. They all said that they usually have to do the Santka Lucia at home. They were emotional while expressing gratitude that we were able to bring these traditions to life for them here. I was so blessed to see the appreciation in their eyes. Their children were dressed up as Angels all in white and we all wore crowns of tinsel. It was so great. 

I love the opportunity I have to have moments like this. Music has the ability to connect us to each other and to heaven in the quietest and simplest ways. As soon as the beautiful notes of an aria or hymn begin I love the complete silence that descends on the room. The most powerful manifestations of the Spirit have happened to me while singing or listening to inspiring music. I am so blessed to appreciate good music. I hope my kids see how hard I seek out those moments and how I love to participate in any music that I possibly can. What a great week of music! 

This is inside the First Lutheran church. 

Also, let me just say, I was having a rough day yesterday. I am missing family and Matt is out of town this weekend. Miki and Lucy are tired from mommy being gone so much this week. It wears on me emotionally. It was one of those days where everything was going wrong. I was feeling left out of a lot of things. But then I went to the church, put on a halo and added my voice to a beautiful concert and tradition. I left on such a high and came home to put my sweet girls to bed. I counted my blessings. My cup runneth over. 

Little Lucy

I want to give a little update on how awesome our Lucy girl is and what all she is up to these days. 

Lucy is about to turn 15 months old. Miki likes to tell everyone, "Lucy is 1!" It's so cute. She is a happy, bright and hilarious bundle of energy. She loves to climb on things like couches, chairs, boxes and toys. It's crazy to think that if she were like miki she STILL wouldn't be walking! Haha. I don't know how I did that. I couldn't imagine her not walking at this point. She is so adorable it should be illegal. Here are some words that she says: mama, dada, more, thank you, puppy, baby, doggy, ball, yeah and many more that I can't think of right now. She also signs eat, please, all done, more and milk. She can point to almost all body parts on command and she knows who everyone is. She follows directions amazingly. She will put toys away, put her milk cup on the table, bring me a diaper or wipes and all sorts of other things when asked. She absolutely loves to read. By the end of the day our house is covered in books. She will bring me one after the other all day long. I love it. She also adores animals. She knows all the sounds they make and will point to correct ones in pictures when asked. Her favorite toy right now is a baby doll. Any baby doll. She gives them hugs and loves and kisses. She says "baby!" While she carries them around the house. She can sit at the table and feed herself just about any food. She never has been a baby food fan so she has been eating table food since she was about 6 months old. She loves to eat but also still enjoys nursing with mommy. (We are planning on finishing up with that in the next month or so. She doesn't know that yet though, haha.) She is a snuggle bug and loves to sit on our laps and just sigh. She will just chill with you while we read or watch a movie. She likes Dora the explorer and even says Dora's name. She has about 18 teeth. She actually likes to brush them. She also likes to wash hands and clean up. She certainly just loves anything she sees Miki do at this point. She also loves baths and hates when they are over. She has started saying "No!" When I do something she doesn't like or tell her to do something she doesn't want to do. Ah the sassiness. She is also a little aggressive with miki sometimes. She will pull Miki's hair or pound her on the back and Miki will just sit there and say, "stop Lucy!" Over and over again. I am trying to teach miki to just walk away or say no and then remove herself but she usually just sits there. Lucy thinks it's funny. So she is starting to get in more trouble and have to be disciplined. *sigh* Why can't they stay sweet and innocent forever? Nah, that wouldn't make life as interesting as it can be. Lucy just adores Michaela. They love to play together. They color and draw and run around and dance. They giggle and jump and give each other hugs and kisses. I am so happy they both have a sister. They will always have someone besides us to be there for them. I am so grateful. Lucy is so sweet natured. Other kids are drawn to her. Even in public at the play place kids will come up and give her hugs and play with her hair. I think it's her big beautiful eyes. They make her look so sweet and innocent. She also gets upset when she gets in trouble. Her feelings get hurt easier than Miki's. She is more emotional like mommy is. 

She is a perfect addition to our family. I am so happy that she is still a bit of a mommy's girl. She is the best and we are so blessed to have her. 

Little moments

Tonight, as I was putting Lucy to bed I stopped. She hasn't been feeling very well this afternoon. She has a small fever and was feeling very sleepy. She was lying down on my shoulder and just so relaxed. So I stopped. I stood there by her crib and just snuggled her. I let her lay on me and just held her close. I said a silent prayer of thanksgiving. That moment right there is the reason I became a mommy. The feeling of her sweet little arms laying on my chest. The sweet sound of her breathing. The complete trust she has in me. I know she won't always be this small. She won't always want me to tuck her in at night. Or maybe she will. I hope she will. 

I have been really trying to take the time to enjoy the girls while they are tiny. I think I am actually pretty good about taking in the moments. I try so hard to remember that these are the good old days. Even with all of that effort, the time seems to be slipping through my fingers like sand. As the girls get older life just keeps getting better. But on nights like this I am just so grateful that they are still small. They are still mine to hold and cuddle and protect. They trust me so implicitly. They love me so unconditionally. I am truly blessed. I am trying every day to be the kind of role model in words and actions that they need. I love my sweet girls. I can't wait to have more. (Ok, I can wait a little bit.) 

Thinking more thoughts

In my recent quest for learning and knowledge I have been doing a lot of reading and watching documentaries and such. I have been studying in the New Testament. I love the four gospels in particular. The accounts of the Saviors life and ministry have always touched me. The other day I was reading in Mark and something hit me very hard. Mark 7:14-23

 14 ¶And when he had called all the people unto him, he said unto them, Hearken unto me every one of you, and understand:

 15 There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can ^adefile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that ^bdefile the man.

 16 If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.

 17 And when he was entered into the house from the people, his disciples asked him concerning the parable.

 18 And he saith unto them, Are ye so without understanding also? Do ye not perceive, that whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him;

 19 Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly, and goeth out into the draught, purging all meats?

 20 And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that ^adefileththe man.

 21 For from within, out of the ^aheart of men, proceed evil thoughts, ^badulteries, fornications, murders,

 22 ^aThefts, ^bcovetousness, ^cwickedness, ^ddeceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:

 23 All these ^aevil things come from within, and ^bdefile the man.

 Ok, the entire scripture just basically expands on verse 14 which is what hit me so hard. There is nothing outside of us that can defile us. Nothing that can do damage to us and our spirit. How many times do we blame outside influences on the way we react to things? But these verses are saying that we have to take credit for all of it! All of our moods, words, thoughts, feelings. So, if that is true, we need to work on making only good things come out of us, right? When we are around other people or things that are negative, we tend to also start to feel that way. I do believe that we are affected by what we choose to surround ourselves with. But here, The Savior is saying that we have complete control over our circumstances. I know I am constantly pointing the finger at other influences and how they are making me act or feel a certain way. 

That being said, I do believe that if you choose not to surround yourself with good people and/or media  and other things, you will be "influenced" to act in a negative way. Good friends, good people and other good influences will affect your spirit. However, YOU are the one who is choosing to allow those things into your spirit. You are choosing your reaction and you are choosing to continue along with it or not. So, the defiling is really coming from within and not without. 

I am trying to be more positive. I am trying to show the love that I feel for others. I am trying to be less critical and trying to be more open to new friends and possibilities. I have learned a lot of interesting things about the human heart recently. How our hearts will actually beat in time with others when we are performing a similar task like singing in a choir or running in a race. How the electro-magnetic energy that we give off can actually be measured and we project what kind of mood we are in: stress, happiness, sadness etc. How after large world events like 9/11 and the tsunami the Magnetic energy of the earth measurably shifts as people become more united In a common goal and purpose. It is all so fascinating. It just reaffirms my testimony so much of how important it is to be united. We don't all have to think the same but it is important to have a common purpose. Whatever that may be... Hopefully something good. 

So, when we think about the scripture above, let's just remember that nothing can defile us except for ourselves. So, let's start inside. Let's do everything we can to better ourselves so that we can make the world a better place. 

Michaela Update!

The time has come for another update on the awesomeness of the Griffith kids! Let's just talk about Miki. Miki turned 3 in May and will be a full on 3 1/2 year old in no time. She recently started school at Stanford Montessori school. This had been an amazing blessing. We love the Montessori Philosophy of student-lead learning. Miki is a school girl for sure! She has a lot of new friends that she talks about every day. She loves her teacher, Ms Barbara and she is already learning so much. She has new songs that she sings all the time and she talks about her work-cycles and building her spheres and cubes. She is loving it. What a blessing that Metro schools have this program. She will be at this school all the way through 4th grade! Crazy to think about. 

                                        

Personality. Ha! Well it's no secret that Miki was born with tons of it. She is now exerting her independence in a lot of ways. "I will do it myself" is heard constantly in our house. And she is good at doing things herself. She brushes her teeth, goes potty all on her own, gets dressed, makes her bed, takes her dishes over, pours her own milk in her cereal (sometimes), she cleans up ("But, mommy my arms are too tired!") Did I mention that she is a huge negotiator? She should be a lawyer. I will tell her to do something a certain way. For example, put her shoes on so we can go. She will then inform me that she needs to go change her socks first cause these socks are dirty and she also decided that she wants to wear different shoes. Oh and also, she needs to potty first and than she can put on her shoes. JUST PUT SOME SHOES ON!! Sheesh, child! 

It can be very trying but I pick my battles and I lay down the law when I have to. It is exhausting. On the other hand I am very glad that she is so strong willed. She has thicker skin than I ever had as a kid. Not a lot phases her. She go that from her daddy. It makes it hard to discipline her though. I will be yelling at her for something or threatening a spanking and she will just say, "Ok, mommy!" It calms me down a lot and I am grateful for that. But it also can make me even more angry. It depends on the situation. 

                        

      

Miki is an amazing talker. She talked early and often. She talks all day long. Literally. If she doesn't have anything in particular to say she will just say "mommy... Mommy... Mommy" over and over again. She constantly wants to talk to me. She has to tell me everything. I love it! She is my little best friend. It makes me giggle some of the things she comes up with. She makes up words all the time. When asked what her new cousins name should be she says, "Hoianta." She says it every time. I have no idea what it means and where she got it from. (Her brain, I guess.) She just floors us with her imagination and creativity. 

                                          

One day we were driving home from somewhere as a family. She was like, "mommy, are we going o church right now?" "No, Miki. We are just going home to our house." "No, I think we are going to church." "No, miki. We are going home. It's not church day today." Silence, then she says under her breath, "I'm so excited to go to church." She is just always making us laugh. 

Some of her pronunciations: she has the cutest little lisp. She tends to get a little lazy and start a lot of words with the letter M. Mupposed, mapunzel, muitar. So we just talk about the right way to say it. She says them all fine but it's when she gets lazy. Also, she likes to call us Ms Stefanie and Mr Matt when she is talking to us. Like if she is talking to me about Matt she calls him Mr Matt. But when she talks directly to him she'll call him daddy. We keep having to remind her that we will still know who she is talking about if she calls us mommy and daddy all the time. She also says, "I yike you, mommy" a lot. It's started as a joke with Matt and I. He says, " I like you" to me a lot instead of I love you. He thinks he is soooo funny. Well now, miki says it to both of us all the time and it's so cute. She also is really funny/good at praying. She will sometimes say thank you for the sweetest things: Lucy, mommy, daddy, Jesus Christ, our family and friends etc. Or she will say thanks for the remote, ack, pencils,

Tvs, doc mcstuffins, pictures, toys, books, ooogi or any other array of words that she can think of in the moment. It's so hard not to crack up sometimes during prayers. 

                                             

    

She loves to read books. She memorizes them and will then read them to herself. It's amazing what her mind retains. She still has the best memory of anyone I know. Her understanding of words is still funny sometimes too. She says that everything that happened before now as happening yesterday. And she thinks that anything that is going to happen will happen tomorrow. 

                         

She loves Hello Kitty and she picked out a pink Hello Kitty backpack for school. She still will tell the teachers at school drop off in the morning that she has a new pink hello kitty backpack. Now that she is comfortable at school they can't get her to stop talking. I tried to convince her to get the black backpack cause it had bright rainbow colors on it. "No, I want the pink one." She knows what she wants that's for sure. She likes to wear two different flip flops. Like, one from 2 different pairs. She likes to dress herself in the craziest combinations if clothes. I like to let her choose and be independent. So sometimes she appears in public in a dress, a skirt, jeans and mismatched shoes. More power to her, I say. I want her to be confident no matter what she looks like so we don't make a big deal about it. 

                          

     

I sure love seeing her sweet spirit. She is such a good big sister to Lucy. She loves her so much. She has always wanted to help me with her. She brings me diapers and blankies. She used to help me lotion Lucy after baths when Lucy was smaller. She always has to make sure that, if she is getting something, that Lucy is also getting it. She loves to share with her. Food, drinks, toys etc. She really is very smart and mature for a 3 year old. I am so glad that she was born first. Her nurturing personality is perfect for it. She will look out for Lucy and any siblings that arrive later. Her thick skin and ability to let things go will serve her very well as she gets older. 

I just adore this little girl. She teaches me so much about patience, love and having fun. She also teaches me to appreciate the little things and slow down. I thank my Heavenly Father every day that I get the chance to be her mommy. 

                               

More Musings

I had another realization the other day as I was watching a movie. It's one of my favorites and its been on tv a lot lately and I already mentioned it once in the previous post so I'm not gonna say what movie it is again. I am gonna say that the reason I love it is because it makes me think. At the end of the movie the main character feels like she is losing her balance. She has spent a significant amount of time seeking for proper balance and self love in her life. And she finds love. Real, true love. But she throws it away because she says she can't keep her balance with the distractions of a new love. Now, here is my favorite line uttered by her spiritual guide: "sometimes to lose balance for love is part of living a balanced life." 

Now, for me I always loved this line for the main character and how she realizes it's ok to let herself be happy and in love. It's ok to give up a piece of herself. As long as she is doing it for the right reasons she will remain her balanced, loved self. But for the first time the other day I listened to this line as if he were speaking to me. 

Backstory: I love my husband. I found a good one. He works hard for all of us. He loves me and I love him. Right now our lives are moving in very different ways. His career is a very social one. He is constantly around people. Meeting new people and being out and about all the time. I am a stay at home mom and I babysit during the week. I have to work very hard to plan interactions with other adults and be out in social situations. I love where my life is but it is a struggle at times. So, This time the realization hit me in another way. As a mom. Sometimes to lose your balance for love is part of living a balanced life. There have been many times over the last 3 1/2 years since I became a mom that I felt like I was losing myself a little bit. A lot, actually. When you have tiny humans that are depending on you for literally everything, that's a lot of pressure and a lot of time. You give your children so. much. time. And it doesn't end when you put them to bed. You are responsible for them even while they sleep. Even while you do. I consider myself an educated, driven person. I don't miss working in a job per se. I do miss having an excuse to go somewhere every day and interact with other adults. I miss having to get dressed. And showered. I can do those things now its just different when you don't HAVE to. And some days I'm lucky if I get showered. There is a reason for the yoga pants stereotype. They are comfortable and you can put them on first thing in the morning and not have to worry about them being too tight or getting dirty. 

So, back to my realization. I realized that, right now, I may feel a little personally off balance. I may feel a little lost. I may have to try a little bit harder to make time for myself. I may have to work some days not to snap at my husband when he doesn't know about something that happened when he was not around. I may have to schedule girls nights and haircuts. I did all of that before I had kids too but that was when my entire day was scheduled around me. Now it's scheduled around my kids. And the kids that I babysit. That is a huge adjustment for anyone. 

But it's also a huge opportunity. I have no choice but to forget myself and serve others. I have to put myself 3rd or 4th or just last sometimes. I also teach my kids to respect me and my space at times. By having to schedule time to myself or with girlfriends I am forced to really decide what is important in my life. I am getting to know myself in ways that are not possible in other situations. My kids have taught me more about life and love than I had learned in 26 years before they came. They have strengthened my testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the true importance of families. I am getting to know the meaning of patience and long suffering. And also of joy, peace and sacrifice. What a blessing. I absolutely love and adore these sweet kids I have been given. I know they are mine for a reason. We are eternally connected. This is my greatest and most difficult calling. Being a mommy. I am on a journey of self-love and discovery. I am learning that it is ok to concentrate my energy on someone else for a few years. My kids won't be small forever. And I am growing in so many ways. I am discovering myself. I am seeking a new balance. There is no recipe for perfect balance that will last forever. It all depends on where you are at in your life and what you are doing. The balance shifts. Thank goodness, too. I hope I only keep improving as I get older and get to experience more. Life lessons according to Stefanie. 

Self Discovery

So, I'm sitting here watching Eat, Pray, Love which is one of my favorite movies and books. I love stories of people who go on a journey of self discovery. I always look at their amazing travels and stories and hope that someday I will be able to do the same thing. Travel to distant lands and meet unforgettable people who teach me the greatest lessons in life. Well I've been thinking a lot this week about that. And I realized something the other day when I heard myself say it out loud. I don't want to look back at these years of my life and think, "whew! I survived. I muddled through the challenges of being a stay at home mom in this modern world." I want to look back at these years of my life and see a happy me. A person who wasn't just surviving but thriving. I want my kids to remember a happy mommy who loved to play with them. Not just sit by myself while they play at the park or in the pool. A mommy who got up to run and jump when they did. Someone who is strong and happy in her situation. And I am realizing that I don't need to go to the far corners of the earth to accomplish my journey of self love and self discovery. I can go on many journeys if I take the time and make the effort. I can make life fun for my family. I can create memories that will last a lifetime. I can be that woman, wife and mommy that people see and want to emulate. I used to be someone that people were drawn to. I would hear, "You are just such a happy person! Always smiling and brightening the rooms you enter." I haven't heard myself described in that way in a long time. Too long. I'm gonna change that. It's time to take the initiative. Start making my own memories with my husband, kids and friends. I know I can do it. I know I am strong. I have a loving Father in heaven and earthly family. I am beautiful. I can learn and grow. I can teach my girls to love each themselves and be happy in every situation. I can do it. And I will. 

I still have big plans to see the world. I have been blessed to see a lot of it already. But I am going to work on expanding my own world. Here, now while I have the chance. While my kids are small and think I am the world, I am going to show them that the world is a loving, happy and exciting place. I am blessed. We all are. I'm going to quit telling other people to look for the silver linings and start actually following my own advice. I will SHOW them how to do it. 

Yes. The time is now. I am going to be present and alive and love the moments, easy or hard, good or bad. Today is the day. 

Hair: An Examination

Hair. We all have it. Some of us more than others. (Hehe). We all choose how we are going to wear it and what product to put in it and when to wash it etc etc. Well, I've been thinking a lot about hair lately. A couple of months ago I decided to cut my hair. Like, really cut it. I went from having hair that was all the way down to my waist after having my second child to a full-on pixie style cut à la Michelle Williams or Anne Hathaway. I also decided to dye it platinum blonde with the cut. I have had long hair for my whole life. Since it grew out when I was a kid, I kept it long. I layered it and grew it and layered it and cut it. But always, it was long. And I loved it. My sisters would call me their "hippie" sister. I would wear side ponytails and buns. My hair was curly and occasionally I would wear it down or straighten it. I loved the versatility that my long hair gave me. But, I wore it up pretty much every day. I didn't like it getting in my face. I haaaated when it was windy and would never drive with the windows down if I could help it. I was blessed with good hair. Healthy, blonde and curly. 

This is me when I was 3. Can I please have a child with hair this awesome?

Cut to the last few years. Since I had my first child, my hair has been getting progressively darker. I don't make a habit of dyeing my hair although I did do blonde highlights most recently before the Big Cut. I don't have anything against dark blonde or brown hair but, I didn't like it on me. I have (almost) always been "the blonde one" in my family. All of my siblings have varying shades of brown hair or dark blonde hair. I was born with white-blonde hair and hazel eyes and the lightest complexion. I always felt cool with blonde hair. That it was a distinguishing factor in who I was. If you look at my wedding photos you will see much lighter hair than in pictures of me in the last year. 

This was on our wedding day in 2008. That is my complete natural color. 

This is last Christmas. 2012. That is my natural color on the top. And Lucy on my lap. 

So, I had my second baby last September. Her name is Lucy and she is a mamma's girl through and through. She is kind of obsessed with me. In a good way I guess. Haha. But she does NOT leave me alone. She constantly is giving me kisses (which I love), and climbing on my lap (which I love), and scratching me everywhere with those sharp little fingernails (which I don't really love), and pulling my hair--HARD (which I kind of hated actually). 

So, I kept seeing all of these celebrities with short haircuts. I would think to myself, "I wish I was brave enough to try something like that," or "I just don't think my face shape would work with short hair," or "what if I don't like it?" I would say these things over and over and finally, one day I realized; I CAN be brave enough. Why not? I have had 2 children. I have moved across the country away from my family. I have had many personal and professional victories in the last few years. Who says I can't be brave enough to cut my hair? And I realized, I have control over how I feel about myself. Hair included. So, I went for it. I made the appointment with a trusted friends hairdresser and I didn't tell anyone I was doing it except my husband and a few friends in Nashville. I wanted to surprise my family. 

I went to the appointment, sat in the chair and said "Let's do this!" I have to say, I LOVED it. It felt like I was lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. Literally and figuratively. I am now a short-haired person and so proud to be. I never ever thought I would be that or say that. 

I called all my family on FaceTime so they could see the new locks. Here are some of the reactions: 

  

Yeeeah, that is Jen and Kelli. My oldest and youngest sisters. My moms reaction was similar and so were my other siblings. It was priceless. They loved it! They couldn't believe it was me! They thought it was my sister Lisa who looks the most like me and has been a lot more gutsy in her hairstyles over the years. 

This is the before picture. To show how long and the color. 

This is the after shot. I have since had it cut again. Even shorter than it was here. 

My mom said to me as I was telling her all about my thought process before the Big Cut, "Well yeah, it's just hair." 

And let me tell you, ever since the Big Cut I have had random strangers come up to me and tell me how great I look. People at the store, in parking lots, at the McDonalds drive thru, at the mall. Seriously, I know I live in the South where people tend to talk to each other a bit more than in other places but I mean a LOT of people go out of their way to compliment me. Here is a list of comments I usually hear:

You look like a rock star! 

You look like P!nk. 

You look so edgy and cute. 

I love your hair. 

Nice hair!

You can totally pull off short hair. 

You should come into my salon I would love to cut your hair. 

And some more: 

I could never do that. I'm not brave enough. 

I wouldn't look good with short hair. 

I have too weird of a head shape to pull off short hair. 

I would love to cut my hair but it wouldn't look good on me. 

Sound familiar??? 

Ladies! Give yourselves a little credit. You are brave! You are fabulous! You are strong! You are wonderful! You are beautiful! You have conquered children, cancer, infertility, loss of friends and family, long days and nights with little ones in your beds puking, husbands out of town for work and you carrying the entire household, surgeries, no jobs, financial worry and so much more! You have the power to do what you want. So, if you want to have a cute, easy, short hair cut. Do it! Find a good hairdresser and have them help you find what would look good on you. Everyone will look good with the right kind of short haircut. 

I have felt more beautiful and noticed since the Big Cut. People see me. And they go out of their way to compliment me. Not that it should matter completely but it IS nice to be seen. And given positive thoughts and compliments. 

Moral of the story? You can be brave if you choose to be. Don't sell yourself short. Go for it, whatever "it" is for you. Whether a haircut or anything else that may seem out of your comfort zone. You have control over your own life. You can do anything. Good luck! 

Here are a few more pictures. Just because. 

This is after the second hair cut. 

Me and Lucy. Pre second haircut. 

Me and my oldest, Michaela. 

Me and 2 sisters and my niece. 

Me and my husband, Matthew. He is a charmer. 

Me and my mom, Cindy. 

M and Lucy again. This is just a week ago or so. 

Happy haircuts!

The People I come home to

I am still trying to catch up on past posts from my family blog challenge. So, I am going to tell you all about the most important people in my life and what they mean to me. Here goes.

Dad: I respect my dad so much. He has spent his entire life working day and night for my family and our survival and welfare. He is busy all the time and always has been. His work ethic is incredible. I never have heard him complain about how much he has to work. I never have heard him complain about not getting enough vacation, or pay or anything along those lines. He knows that we have always needed every penny that he works for so he works for as many pennies as possible. My dad is funny. His sense of humor might be lost on some people but he can make you laugh so hard at the least expected moment. Example: Once we were driving down into Grand Junction from Powderhorn in dad's truck. Jen, Holly, Lisa, and I were in the back seat and mom and Kelli were in the front with dad. Dad was starting to fall asleep at the wheel, which he used to do once in a while and we veered slightly off the road and onto the really loud grooves in the road that are there for just this occasion. He quickly snapped awake and righted the car and mom leaned forward to look at him. Dad: "What?!" Mom: "Just making sure you are awake." Dad: "Who could sleep through that?!?"

I love my dad.

Mom: Let's see. My mom is one of the most creative people that I know. She throws her heart and soul into everything that she does. Although she didn't go to school for Library Science, she landed the job as the school Librarian a few years ago and she has completely transformed the school that she works at. She is getting those kids excited about reading. She has made the library a cozy and inviting place to be and the kids like to be there now. She comes up with the best ideas. She won a very prestigious award for scouting in her region. She works in the Boy Scouts of America program through her calling at church. She has an effect on people as soon as she meets them with her smile and loud and infectious laugh. I look up to her in so many ways. Put all that aside and you have the best mother and grandmother that anyone could hope for. She is an extremely supportive and loving mom. Even if she doesn't agree with our decisions, she supports us and loves us and doesn't constantly nag or bug us about it. She is also very funny and if you ever have the chance, ask her to do the big mouth frog joke.

I love my mom.

Jen: Hmmmmm, how do I begin? Jen is 4 years older than me and I have looked up to her my entire life. When I was 12 and she was 16 I wanted to be like her so bad! I wanted to do my hair like she did. I wanted to look like her and talk like her and sing like her. I tried. It didn't work but I never gave up hope to be as cool as she is one day. Jen is my best friend. I still look up to her in so many ways. She is an inspiration. She is shouldering the burdens of a small army right now and doing an amazing job of it. What a great example she is to her daughters of what a strong woman is. Jen and I used to fight a lot. But through these experiences my mind was opened to so many things. Jen and I can laugh together like no one else. (Was that your elbow?!?) I miss her face. Thank goodness for Facetime chatting every single day!

I love Jen.

Adam: Oh man, I can't even begin to tell you all how much I love this guy. Adam got me through the first 2 years of high school when I was feeling the least confident and most insecure. He is an example to me of courage. He joined the Marines in 2001 before the world was rocked with 9/11. Once September came and everything changed we knew that he may be called to go and fight a war that we weren't even thinking about before. I remember sitting on my parents bed one day and talking to him about it. I asked him if he was regretting his decision to enlist. He said that he was just thinking about how it all had changed now. He knew that he was going to be called to do things that he didn't necessarily have in mind before but he just looked at me and said, "But, I'm ready." He had made a commitment and he was willing to follow through. I look up to that mindset. He has just recently become a daddy and I am looking forward to seeing how much more he will become in that role. I can't wait to meet sweet little Paisley! (Also, he married my best friend from high school. Who could ask for anything more??)

I love Adam.

Holly: Hmmm, if you asked me to choose one word to describe Holly, I would tell you.... No. That's impossible. She is too fantastic to be summed up in one word. Holly is 18 months younger than me so we pretty much did a lot together growing up. She and I are a lot alike. We have very similar personalities. We even chose husbands with similar personalities. She is, however, a lot funnier than me. She is an incredible writer and has a great blog. (theglems.blogspot.com) She has had many trials in her adult life that people typically expect from someone who is much older than she is. She has gone through them with an incredible sense of humor. She is super creative. I miss seeing her doodles all over the papers on the fridge. I love going to her house cause she always has an adorable calendar. I still have a lot of fun little creations that she made for me when I went off to college. She has a natural presence that draws people to her. Her beautiful smile fits her personality really well. She works really hard for her company and is an irreplaceable person to her bosses and others at work. I look up to her so much.

I love Holly.

Lisa: Lisa is blunt. And I love it. She will always say what she is thinking no matter what the expected reaction will be. I find that admirable. She is brave. Some people tend to take this at face value and judge her too quickly. But I know that Lisa is one of the most loyal, kind-hearted people that I know. She loves to take care of things that need help. She has always had a special connection with people who have special needs. She has had a great impact on some kids that she worked with over the years. Lisa and I have similar features but the completely opposite coloring. Our daughters do resemble each other quite a bit as a result of this. Lisa also is blessed with the gift of humor. She and I worked together for a summer and got a lot closer than we had ever been before that. Ever since she has become a mommy, she has opened herself up to others even more it seems and allowed her kindness to show. I appreciate her so much.

I love Lisa.

Kelli: Kelli and I shared a room up until I was in high school. I used to get onto her all the time cause she was messy and I wanted the room clean. She used to lay on the floor in front of the mirror and watch herself cry. Kelli has one of the strongest testimonies of the gospel of anyone I know. She is a great example to me of a faithful person. She has become so much more confident in the last few years and she gets more and more beautiful. She is ridiculously strong. One time we were playing in the snow and i tried to tackle her and she just stood there. Cut to a few minutes later and I lay flattened on the ground cause she tackled me back. Yeah, she is super buff. Her favorite color is orange and I love all of her orange accessories. She has been out to Nashville 3 times to visit me since I've lived here and I appreciate so much that she comes to visit. She has a little more freedom with her school schedule and unmarried status to travel and I welcome that! Kelli is awesome.

I love Kelli.

Now a quick word about my wonderful siblings in law. Nick is great at cleaning. Kara is extremely crafty and creative. Eric is perpetually ready for fun. Hondo is super sweet-hearted. (Kelli's boyfriend Tyler is great with the nieces. He gets parentheses cause they aren't married yet. haha)


Anywho, I love all of these people very much. They make me who I am and I am grateful for all of them.