Self Discovery

So, I'm sitting here watching Eat, Pray, Love which is one of my favorite movies and books. I love stories of people who go on a journey of self discovery. I always look at their amazing travels and stories and hope that someday I will be able to do the same thing. Travel to distant lands and meet unforgettable people who teach me the greatest lessons in life. Well I've been thinking a lot this week about that. And I realized something the other day when I heard myself say it out loud. I don't want to look back at these years of my life and think, "whew! I survived. I muddled through the challenges of being a stay at home mom in this modern world." I want to look back at these years of my life and see a happy me. A person who wasn't just surviving but thriving. I want my kids to remember a happy mommy who loved to play with them. Not just sit by myself while they play at the park or in the pool. A mommy who got up to run and jump when they did. Someone who is strong and happy in her situation. And I am realizing that I don't need to go to the far corners of the earth to accomplish my journey of self love and self discovery. I can go on many journeys if I take the time and make the effort. I can make life fun for my family. I can create memories that will last a lifetime. I can be that woman, wife and mommy that people see and want to emulate. I used to be someone that people were drawn to. I would hear, "You are just such a happy person! Always smiling and brightening the rooms you enter." I haven't heard myself described in that way in a long time. Too long. I'm gonna change that. It's time to take the initiative. Start making my own memories with my husband, kids and friends. I know I can do it. I know I am strong. I have a loving Father in heaven and earthly family. I am beautiful. I can learn and grow. I can teach my girls to love each themselves and be happy in every situation. I can do it. And I will. 

I still have big plans to see the world. I have been blessed to see a lot of it already. But I am going to work on expanding my own world. Here, now while I have the chance. While my kids are small and think I am the world, I am going to show them that the world is a loving, happy and exciting place. I am blessed. We all are. I'm going to quit telling other people to look for the silver linings and start actually following my own advice. I will SHOW them how to do it. 

Yes. The time is now. I am going to be present and alive and love the moments, easy or hard, good or bad. Today is the day.